Blog #3: Champagne Wishes and Caviar Dreams: Prepping for WrestleMania!
With WrestleMania fast approaching, it can be a very exciting time for all of the Superstars and Divas in the WWE. It is also very stressful in trying to organize our trip to Miami and for Divas, the most stress involved is finding out what to wear!! Besides our everyday clothes and workout clothes (LuLu Lemon only!) we also need to Diva-size for our fanciest time of year!
Naturally, I use WM as an excuse to go shopping for that perfect outfit, and now I realize I have accumulated about ten different dresses for the Hall of Fame. I have a beautiful vintage black Gianni Versace dress, a gold sequined Missoni number that is long, a short dress which is also Vintage Dolce and Gabanna with sparkles and beautiful lace. Choices, choices! What is a girl to do!? Shop some more, of course! I have some of my favorite boutiques, which sell beautiful pieces of Vintage clothing from Italy and Paris. The quality is second to none. Exquisite fabrics like silk and shantung. Gismo won’t accept anything less. He has to have the finest. He actually always prefers Cashmere above all else.
When picking out our clothes, you of course have to have the perfect pair of shoes! I specially ordered in some beautiful nude sling back peep toed Loubies because I know they’ll go with everything and for the cost, I’ll have to wear them at least 999 times. That’s ok, I will wear them at my funeral, too! I promise, they’re a great investment. Remember, shoes are like real estate: and I always buy in Malibu.
For the best shoes, this is when Neiman Marcus comes in handy. Just ask Kelly Kelly. I somehow manage to run into her every time I go into Neimans. I see her, pretend I’m on my cell phone and keep my head down. Most of the time she is buying more makeup (usually from LaMer) and then spots me over at the Louboutin section and acts like she was “gonna check them out, too.” Yeah, right. She is such a copy cat. Seriously, Kel.
I am smart enough to know she can’t keep up with my Louboutin obsession and she is more or less a payless girl. It’s ok, Payless is good, too. (Especially when you’re on a budget.) When I was eight, Payless was perfect…so in some ways I can relate to her. I know K2 has tried to show off some of her Louboutins, but I have my suspicion whether they’re real or not…the same suspicions that I have with Tamina Snuka; is she a real Samoan? Where is the DNA? I need proof. She hardly even looks Samoan. Don’t you agree? I’m just sayin.
This year, I’ll be bringing at least 6 pairs of shoes to WM. The Glamazon is bringing five and I know that because she is sitting right across from me as I type this at the airport. I’ll have to help her with her choices as well. Even Glammy needs a little assistance. She knows I can be a bit controlling of her in the style department!
When I can’t make my mind up over what to pick for the pickiest of fashionistas, I take the stress out of it and leave it in the hands of one man, I mean cat. GISMO! What can I say, he knows nice stuff. He is a show cat with credentials and a cover of Cat Fancy to prove it. He even has Fancy Feast knocking down my door wanting him to be in their next commercial. If I can’t trust him, who can I trust? We have a simple system: If he likes something, he meows twice, if he hates something he won’t even give me a meow. At this point, I know not to push it. I appreciate his honesty. The little furball may be arrogant but he believes in his choices and I take that seriously. Thank you, Gismo.
Charlotte the Harlotte will help me make the best decisions when deciding what to bring for accessories and make up products. She knows I have to bring my best Louis Damier clutch for the Hall of Fame and she won’t let me settle for anything less. I tried to bring a Tory Burch purse to go with one of my gowns and Charlotte nearly had a hissy fit. She swiped her sharp claws at me and I knew she wasn’t signaling she needed a manicure. What the cat was trying to tell me was that she meant business. It was a traumatic situation, so I surrendered. Yes, Char, you won…I will bring the Louis. Whatever it takes to make Princess happy (Princess being Charlotte that is).
When it comes to make up, Charlotte isn’t as extravagant as Gismo, as she is not a persian. This doesn’t mean that she doesn’t know good stuff, though! What Charlotte won’t accept is me bringing the same makeup products that Eve uses. In fact, the raccoon in the back yard that digs through my trash at night wouldn’t let me use the same products that Eve uses. As Booker T would say, “What the He-lllll!” I hate that Raccoon in the back yard and so does Charlotte.
As I was saying, Char and I can spot cheap a mile away and that is why I am pretty sure Bobbi Brown will be my make up of choice for this years WM and Hall of Fame. After all, that is what Kate Middleton used in the Royal Wedding…and surely it’s good enough for the Queen of Harts, too. Eve, stick with your make up from Publix…and get a good herbal tea while you’re at it…you need to de-bloat a bit. I’m just being honest, Beautiful.
Well, I am off to catch a flight. But in the meantime and in between time, send me pictures (on Twitter @NatbyNature) of what you guys are gonna wear if you go to the Hall of Fame or have something formal you’re going to. I’d love to see them. I’ll be sure to ask all of your advice when narrowing down my choices for the Hall of Fame. As smart as Gismo and Charlotte are, even I need some extra help…and I can always ask you guys in times of crisis!
Let’s not let Eve or Kelly know what I said, though. They both are very sensitive and I know at times they get jealous of my fine taste. Could you blame ‘em?